Bitten - Hot innocent (?) vamp girl

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 Ah, vampire flicks. I simultaneously get the fascination and am baffled by it - in theory, any sort of mythological monster could have been re-worked into an expression of psychological/sexual issues, and have been as prevalent (imagine a world where we would have had Bram Stocker's Werewolf-cula. And eventually a twilight saga with the focus shifted to team Jacob)

Anyways, I'm pretty sure that we, as a culture, have exhausted the subject so much, that's all the really left are subversions (sparkly sparkly subversions) and cheap exploitations of the vamp as a sexual/lesbian creature (I think there have been at least 5 vampire stripper flicks a year coming out since the 90's).

Or a combination of both, like this film about Silent Bob's partner discovering that the straggler he picked up really weird and taking stupidly long to figure out she's a vamp.

 Maybe because he's too busy macking on her (for very good reasons)

He does figure it out when his bitchy ex

Runs into his new sort-girlfriend

And is quickly transformed into a corpse

The confrontation between the two

Quickly turns into a sex scene. 0_0

It's a really creepy scene, that works quite well.

Anyways, at the bodies start piling up, they have to be disposed of...

Only to suddenly spring back to unlife, craving blood!

Vamp girl is forced to show of her ass... err, perform an impromptu staking. 

Things settle down when she promises she'll only feed on blood packs... but look at that. That's a shifty eyed traitor shot.

So we're not too surprised when a hot

(if slightly underlit) threesome

which seems to end peacefully

Turns out to be a feeding ground.

Jay has had enough, and decides it's time to put a stake to work

But vamp girl isn't going down so easily.

It's an interesting movie concept with a fairly good script and the right amount of nudity, sunk only by...

The two main actors. Vamp girl has got a rocking body, but that's pretty much it, and Jay should stick to Kevin Smith movie. I didn't mind so much when I started watching, due to comparing the flick to generic vampsploitation stuff, but ones is started doing relatively smart things, the two really weighed it down. Still, vamp girl has got (in an Al Pacino impression) "A GREAT EVERYTHING" and there's plenty of vamping action, complete with a bloody threesome, so you may check it out for the decent script or for the fangy stuff. 

Sleeping Dogs - Sexy android Kiara Hunter

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 I swear the roughly chronological order is entirely unintentional - the reviews are chosen purely at random. 

Anyways. This guy used to make cheap B-movies which incorporated his favorite fetishes (lesbian bad girls, white slavery and white camisoles). Then he moved on to pure fetish productions focusing on nothing but the above. A more disturbing take on the Ed Wood story, if you will. But, boring and uncomfortable as his latter offerings are, there are some pearls amongst his earlier flicks (for a given definition of pearl, naturally)

This particular flick is basically Die Hard in space. Psychotic criminal mastermind (C. Thomas Howell, very far from his days of playing romantic comedy leads) is released on board a ship carrying cold-sleep prisoners, releases them, takes over the ship and waits for the hero and love interest to kill his henchmen one by one until the final confrontation. 

Fortunately, one of these prisoners is the lovely Kiara Hunter (who you may or may not remember as the vampire dominatrix from that Tales from the Crypt movie with Dennis Miller)

 

  We need to find a way to pick up the viewers interest between the nude white slaves in the intro (yes, that happens) and the love interests sex scene, so...

Insert obvious joke about Kiara displaying the talents that got her this far here

One of the other cold sleep criminals is a sex offender that takes an interest in Kara

And is soundly punished for it. 

 Kiara really bring a bit of extra (rocking body, good attitude) to a fairly generic henchwoman role

 So the bad guy crew goes out and takes over the ship

 Rose kills some guys

 And subdues one guy with her android strength

Die Hard on a spaceship = walkie talkies

 With the ship under the bad guys control

 Kiara takes the time to perv on the helpless captive women

 For a fairly specific definition of "perv". Something for the asphyxia fans, I suppose.

 Then the bad guys discover that the heroes love interest is present, and SHIT GETS REAL.

 They ask the sex offender from earlier to get some info out of her, but he gets too far into psycho mode...

 Giving Kiara the perfect excuse to execute him.

 She's just about to deal with the heroine...

 When the hero calls in, and asks for a final showdown

Kiara finds a clever hiding spot

But it's not quite clever enough

It takes an electrocution scene for the film to properly show off her killer abs. Meh - not everyone has a belly fetish, I guess.

As far as I know, this film (and Tales from the Crypt) is Kiara's only bad girl role (she plays a reformed antagonist in Dangerous Prey), which is a shame, because she's shown a talent for it. If and when this movie shows up on DVD, I'll update this post so you guys can have a chance to watch it (and fast forward)

Penerotic's "Agent Silver" comics - great combination of bad girls, sex, and violence.

Agent Silver

Though I fear of blowing my load early (the comic totally takes my mind in the filthy metaphor direction), I can't help but use the very first post dealing with drawn art to give props to the comic that captures the bad girl essentials perfectly, second only to the illustrious Templar (who will get a post dedicated to him soon enough). A bunch of evil babes are having sex when they come up with a plan to steal the presidents oragsmatron. Agent Silver is sent to dispatch the bad girls in the most graphic way.

What can I say? Both setup and delivery are absolutely perfect. Other artists touch on certain bad girl points of interest, but barring one, none succeed in capturing them all quite so well. Horny, unbelievably voluptuous bad girls who alternate between half dressed and undressed, fucking and fighting in a single page. Mmmmm.
 
Here are some samples:

And if you found the comic as impressive as I have, you should know that penerotic does commissions (this comic is just one example), so... you should have him illustrate your particular interest (and send me a link when he's done)

Julie Strain the Amazonian henchwoman in Enemy Gold

Amazon link for Julie lovers

Yes, we skip from the spy flicks of the 60's to Andy Sidaris' Guns and Babes action flicks of the 90's. Don't let anyone tell you this blog is not diverse. I've loved Julie for the longest time - this Penthouse pet inhabits the amazonian bad girl persona so naturally, coupling an imposing height with a mild bodybuilding physique and a lot of hammy snarling attitude. She also seems like a fun person IRL, and is married to the original creator of the Ninja Turtles. I appreciate the bad girl performances she gave in Sidaris flicks, but I can only imagine what would have happened if she started collaborating with Troma before their uber-lame period... think about Troma's war or the Toxic Avenger with Julie as the leading bad girl?

Oh well. Wasn't meant to be, I guess. And Enemy Gold really isn't bad, by Sidaris standards. Hell, Julie's very first scene involves parking her cool car in a strip-joint (an actual joint in Dallas that got a lot of free publicity in various Sidaris films), storming out (clad in a nice leather outfit) and breaking the fingers of a random sleaze bag trying to hit on her. Mmm.

When she does meet the club owner / big bad guy, she takes off the jacket to reveal... uumph.

That's basically all she does for a while, pose in a badass way and spout lines like

"We will hunt them down like small animals, and no one will be able to hear their cries of pain and sorrow!"

Andy Sidaris wrote the best damn lines.

When the bad guys finally do hunt down the good guy agents, Julie strips down to a bikini in order to... well, so that the audience can see Julie in a bikini really.

Note the difference in cinematography - Sidaris is really a pedestrian director at best, so Julie's body (just as good and/or superior to that of the Elke / Sylva double team from the last post) doesn't look quite as alluring.

She does display just as much a ruthless attitude about killing all those in her way as the spy girls.

As she and her employer make a camp stop, she performs a sword dance by the fire. Mmm. Literally amazonian (another missed opportunity - she really should have been a swords and sandals baddie at some point)

 When the good guys are captured she double-wields and AK and the good guy crossbow (spoilers: ironically to be the instrument of her demise) and looks quite badass while doing so

 Julie has no patience for Mexican standoffs

So she settles them quickly and decisively (I think that she racks up the only bad guy kills in the movie, actually)

Are you wondering whether the bad guys escape will lead them to some sort of vehicle that could be easily blown up by the good guys? Then you may have watched a Sidaris movie before

Sidaris movies are actually fairly formulaic, despite the fact that the bafflingly insane plots are completely different each time. And yet... it's a forumla that appeals to me. Guns, babes, bombs. I'm the odd male for whom explosions do nothing, but I do love me some sex and violence, as well as hot bad girls with attitude that combine both. And Sidaris movies provide that (complete with padding, cheesy jokes, shilling for local products and all that) . A lot of them will be reviewed here in the future, but if you want to check them out yourself, this pack offers the most bang for your buck:
Andy Sidaris 10 DVD movie pack